For many couples, the next logical step after getting married is to have children. The joy a child brings is immeasurable, and when something threatens your kids’ peace of mind, unmovable mountains suddenly seem smaller. One of the most difficult things for a child to handle can be the divorce of their parents. But when both parents are committed to raising their kids in the best environment possible after divorce, the results can be extremely satisfying. The tricky part is getting to a place for yourself, that allows you to co-parent peacefully and successfully. At times it might seem impossible to continue to parent with your ex, but with the right tools you can both continue to give your kids the upbringing you dreamed of on the day of their birth.
Three ideas on successful co-parenting after divorce, that you can implement today, include:
- Be respectful of your ex-spouse’s ideas: It can be hard to acknowledge that someone you thought you would spend your life with, but now will not, has a good idea. In fact it can feel downright impossible to give kudos to your ex for a job well done, or for having a parenting plan that makes sense. But just as you would want to be heard out on your thoughts and needs, so does your ex. Remembering that you both have the best interest of your children at heart may make it easier to admit your ex has an equal say in how your kids are raised, and this can make co-parenting easier. Treat the relationship as you would a business partnership, trying to remove negative emotion and any animosity you feel towards your ex.
- Involve a third party if needed: When it comes time to develop a parenting plan, if you are unable to come to an agreement on any of the issues, call in a neutral third party for help. Sometimes it is better to let an uninterested person lay out a plan, because they have no stake in the outcome other than to see a plan that works put in place.
- Advocate for what’s “important”: At first, and especially if your divorce is hotly contested, if might seem like every issue is the biggest issue you face. But let’s be honest, does it really make a huge difference if your kids leave a new toy or favorite pair of shoes at your ex’s house? Letting go of the smaller issues allows you to focus on what matters most to you. The old phrase “pick your battles” applies here, and if you advocate what you believe to be the “important” issues, it will be easier to agree to other parts of the parenting plan.
The key is to do what works for you and for your children. No two parenting plans are the same, and we work hard to make sure that the plan in place in your case meets your needs while still keeping the best interests of your kids in mind. We understand the difficulties divorce brings, and know that when children are involved those difficulties seem amplified. Let us help you come up with a co-parenting plan you can live with, because if you question the plan the chances of sticking to it diminish. In the end, the parties hurt are your kids.
For answers to your questions about divorce, consult a qualified legal professional. Call the Deaton Law Firm in Cypress at (916) 608-8891 to schedule your appointment today.